Bill Phillips and I had some fun!

I am the very model of a modern Junior-Senator

[Pirates of the Senate]

I am the very model of a modern Junior-Senator
I know the rules of filibuster and adore the mainstream media
Now should I talk some Baseball you know I am quite historical
From Cooperstown to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters senitorical
I understand rules of order, both the simple and authorical

About parliamentary theory I'm teeming with a lot o' thorny
Bothersome and scary facts about the budget of the country

With many scary facts about the budget of the country
With many scary facts about the budget of the country
With many scary facts about the budget of our great country

I'm very good at legislative and parliamentary calculus
I know the scientific names of things animalculous
In short, in matters scary, budgetary, senatorical
I am the very model of a modern Junior-Senator

In short, in matters scary, budgetary, senatorical
He is the very model of a modern Junior-Senator

I know our mythic history, Washington’s and Jefferson
I'll answer all your questions after I get permission
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Teddy Roosevelt
Unemployment never bothered me for it I've never ever felt.

I can tell Nasdaq from Dow Jones and I love all lobbyists
I love their croaking chorus for I'm a lobby hobbyist
I hum whatever tune my donors play because they know me best

I hum whatever tune my donors play because they know me best
I hum whatever tune my donors play because they know me best
I hum whatever tune my donors play because they know me best
I hum whatever tune my donors play because they know me best

Then I can write a dashing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Jim Demint's "play" uniform
In short, in matters scary, budgetary, senatorical
I am the very model of a modern Junior-Senator

In matters scary, budgetary, senatorical
He is the very model of a modern Junior-Senator

In fact, while I know that our country is unraveling
I can identify from a distance a filibuster or a javelin
When such affairs as downturns and recissions and the jobless hit
I know precisely when to say "tough shit"

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern buffonery
When I ignored all of the lessons taught by Ted Kennedy
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Junior-Senator had never sat a gee

You'll say a better Junior-Senator had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Junior-Senator had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Junior-Senator had never sat a sat a gee

For my parliamentary knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
The country has been brought down at the beginning of this century
But still, in matters scary, budgetary, senatorical
I am the very model of a modern Junior-Senator

But still, in matters scary, budgetary, senatorical
He is the very model of a modern Junior-Senator